Tuesday, September 27, 2011

"What If's" Don't Make Sense

Someone recently commented they wished life had a do over button.  I'm sure we all do at times.  The "I wish I had only..." or the "What if I..." thoughts circle endlessly in our minds.  

  1. I wish I had studied harder in school.
  2. I wish I had gone to the college I wanted to go to rather than follow a boy somewhere I hated.
  3. What if I had said "yes" instead of "no" to that guy I crushed on for way too many years when he asked me out?
  4. What if I had a "real" career?
  5. I wish...
  6. What if...
The list can keep on going.  I can ask myself "what if" or say "I wish" all day, but I can't turn back time.  All I would end up doing is driving myself nuts with worry and/or regret.  I'm guilty of doing this just like everyone else, but I've realized I've wasted so many moments worrying about something I can't change.  Why waste that time?  

We have to stop looking behind us and instead focus our energy on the present and future.  We can't change the past.  This is not the movies.  This is reality.  We could be missing out on something precious that is right in front of us all the while we are off dreaming of what might have been.  Instead of holding on to something I can't do anything about, I'm going to hold on to what I can do something about...my life HERE as it is NOW.

  1. If I had studied harder in school, I would have had the confidence in my grades to apply to the college I wanted to attend.  By the way, my grades weren't bad, I was in the top third of my class...well, until I took some college classes in high school and failed one of them because I slept everyday.
  2. Had I not followed that boyfriend of mine to the college I ended up attending, I may not have met the guy who is now my husband.
  3. If I had gone out with my crush, I may have ruined the chance of marrying the man who is now my husband.
  4. If I had a "real" career as I had always dreamed, I would miss out on all the fun experiences of being a Stay-at-Home Mom.  I wouldn't see the light go on inside of my children when they learn something new.  Someone else would be there during the day to see them grow and learn, kiss their boo boos, or give them hugs.
I believe everything has a reason.  We may not always like the way things turn out at first, but when we stand back and look at the picture as a whole, it begins to all make sense.  


  1. Great article Elizabeth....my daughter is also a stay at home mom....she has one daughter 9. My daughter went to college and nursing school and now has her RNBSN...but it isn't doing her much good right now :) But she's happy being a stay at home mom.....myself I had to work to raise 2 children so I was gone a lot, my Son is a Policeman , so I did pretty good raising my two children....and I'm proud of them both.....I never had the chance they had to go to school, but I wouldn't change a thing about my life either.....

  2. Our mistakes make us who we are today, too!

  3. same here everything has a reason, but you still think of the what ifs.

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  4. Good one!! My if? What if I had kept up with that novel and finished it? If I had, I may not have learned from my experience of what happens when you don't outline and don't follow your instinct as a writer. What if I had gone out with that guy I did like but turned down because of issues going on at the time? I may have ended up in a situation that would have complicated my life even more. What if I had majored in writing? I may have not had the energy to keep up my own personal writing goals.

    Our decisions do make who we are and sometimes things are meant to be!

  5. So very true dear. I may not have always made the best choices, but I'm a stronger person for them.