"Eat all your vegetables before dessert."
"Of course I love you."
And the one every parent can't wait to say simply because they heard their own parents say it, "Because I said so."
Then there are the things I never thought I would ever...I mean EVER say, but alas over the years, I have had to say some very odd things. Why? Because I actually had children.
- Stop licking the window. That doesn't mean you can lick the walls or the floor either.
- No, we do not flush our Star Wars light sabers down the toilet.
- Please get your toe out of your nose.
- You are not 99 so please stop whining about being old. You are only 5.
- No, you can not give the fish a bath with your bubbles. Wait! Did you put the bubbles in the fish tank?!
- Please take the millipede out of your mouth.
- Please take the beetle out of your mouth.
- Why would you want your head to get stuck, AGAIN?
- It is just a song, so no, we can't have a hippo. No, we can't have a whale either.
- Did you just put a hole in the wall? Why would you want to see what is on the inside of the wall?
- We don't ride dogs like horses. Get off the dog.
- Get your finger out of your brother's nose.
- Get your foot out of your brother's mouth.
- Please take the leaves out of your mouth. We don't eat leaves off the trees.
- Please stop eating rocks.
- Who painted the floor with fingernail polish?! I don't care if you wanted the white carpet to be pink.
- We don't draw on the TV or windows. If you want to see ______ then put the movie in the player...don't draw _______ on the TV. As for the windows, I can't change what the view looks like outside...sorry.
- The closet shelves are not rock climbing walls.
- Please take the underwear off your head. It is not a mask.
- No, I don't want to smell your "fart"
- No, you can not body slam your sister.
- Did you just drop a treasure chest on her head?
- Why on Earth would you want to do that? No, I never told you not to, but I didn't think it was necessary to do so.
- No, we are not going to chase the turkey so we can cut its head off and pluck its feathers. We can buy a turkey at the store if you want to cook a turkey.
- Please stop throwing yourself onto the floor.
- Just because a dog does it, does not mean we do it!
And my personal favorite...No we can not keep the dead mole as a pet.